Reflections of a writer in isolation

"The hardships of life can silence that pen of yours..."

By Mariam Al Qubaisi

You can stare at a blank page all you want or let loose your pen. It all begins with one word and the truth cascades. The hardships of life can silence that pen of yours, but get back to it as if it was your first time finding your voice. You are caged within your doubts, your anxiety and your crippling fear. Words blend with each other, time goes by and then comes the silence.

You forget how to write. You forget that you were able to do so. You forget that you want your voice to be heard. You sit and let the days blend, merge and continue. You forget you have passions and dreams and hopes to be. It all begins with one thought and then comes silence.

Voiceless is what I describe my situation to be. My pen has dried and my pages remain empty. I look between the folds of books and dusty notebooks to find it.  I search everywhere, in the days that slip between my fingers and in the time that slithers away. I try to find it in the tired eyes of mine that have lost its tiny spark. I beckon of myself to look deeper, deeper than the eyes can see.

I hear a murmuring at the very back of my mind. A faint, yet clear murmuring. Maybe the voice I needed resided there. The silence withers away as I can feel my voice emerging.

You never lose your voice, it is silenced by fear of failure and doubt of never being enough. My passion was there, clear and evident. My love for the written word was there but I was too scared. I felt that maybe I have lost it, that thing that makes me different. I had a feeling maybe I don’t have that so-called wonder in my writing; that magical touch but when I do write I see it. I see the sparks flying off the page.

I am and will always be a writer.

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Mariam Al Qubaisi is a 25-year-old Emirati writer and journalism student with the ambition to inspire people.

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